My passion & love for writing have waxed and waned throughout my life.
If you’ve never fallen out of love with your craft, lucky you. Feel free to stop reading.
But, for those of us who wrestle with self-doubt, insecurity, and hating our own work, this one is for you.
Writing is a difficult job. Anyone who says it’s easy has either never written or is lying. Even when I was younger and full of optimism, I would fall out of love with my stories and quit writing for months on end. Only to feel the inevitable pull of my imagination and pick it back up again. Often, I’m ashamed to say, restarting from square one on the same story.
Finally, something broke within me. After leaving college and the assigned projects, I found it difficult to know what I should be writing. On top of being in an unhealthy environment where I felt not only unsupported but constantly judged and discouraged at every turn. I quit. I turned my back on writing completely. I bought what they were trying to sell me. I wasn’t cut out for this, I was no good, and I’d never be the writer I had always dreamt of becoming.
Even after I distanced myself from the old relationships and found a support system that uplifted and cheered me on, I still didn’t write. For years I wrestled with this discussion. I sought creative outlets in every form but my stories. I picked up new hobbies and changed careers entirely just to avoid the sting I felt from not living my truth.
I am a writer. And if you’re a writer, you know what I’m talking about when I say there’s this need to write. To deny yourself your writing is to deny your heart from beating. And for years, I caused myself harm and avoided the thing I loved the most because it became harder and more hurtful to do it in its own way.
Don’t worry. There is a happy ending. I mean, you’re reading this now, which means I did pick up my pen again. I overcame that heartbreak and was, in fact, able to mend my relationship with my writing. I was able to fall back in love, and I want to help you do the same.
I don’t want to imply that it’s now easy in any way. I still have spurts of hating my work. The overall challenge, the disgust at dialogue I’ve written, and the struggle to know what I should write. It all still exists. I still shelve projects and take long breaks from others. I still have days where I don’t know if “I’m cut out for this” and worry that my scripts will never sell. The difference now is that I’ve accepted these things, these lows, these negative thoughts as just a part of the job. But, most importantly, I’ve established ways in which I can always return to my writing with love. And you can too.
1. Stop Writing
Now, this is going to sound counterintuitive, but breaks are not only normal; they’re necessary to the process. If you’re feeling stuck, frustrated, or angry with your writing, then stop. Put it down. And remove any guilt or shame from choosing to do so. Don’t tell yourself that you SHOULD be writing. Don’t assign blame to yourself or label the act of stepping back as quitting. You may just need to take a break. So take it.
2. Remove the Pressure
Write just for you. No one else. Nothing else matters. Convince yourself that the thing you’re writing is for your eyes only. No one else needs even to know you’re writing at all if it helps. Once you liberate yourself from external judgment, you might find that the inner critic will quiet down too.
3. Change Media
If you’re a screenwriter, write a book, a song, or a poem. Change it up. The first thing I wrote when I started up again was a children’s picture book about my dog going on imaginary adventures while I left her home alone. It was silly, adorable, and unlike anything else I had written before or since. I even drew pictures to go with it. Point is, when combining changing media with writing for your eyes only, you might find something fun, silly, and adorable to help you regain your love for writing.
4. Tell No One
This one is a tough one for me, but when I was early in my process of returning to writing, I made the mistake of telling people what I was working on. Most of my friends were encouraging and wanted to know more. Many of them wanted to read it. But not everyone wants to see you succeed. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. The sad truth is that some people just want to shit on your passions and interests because it makes them feel better about themselves. So, tell no one. Or, at the very least, only tell the people you trust and love the most who you know are loving and supportive towards your dreams and goals.
Now, as a screenwriter, I feel it’s important to clarify that I’m not saying that you should never show anyone your scripts or discuss your ideas. Nor am I saying only to trust the critiques of your loved ones. That’s not sustainable in this business. I’m specifically talking about if you are in the process of trying to step back into writing or if you’re struggling with your current process. I’m specifically referencing the little passion project that you’ve convinced yourself no one else will read. The thing that may be way off from your normal work, like my picture book. Or the YA fantasy novel I wrote after that picture book. Both are sitting on my shelf as works of love; for now, that’s where they’ll stay.
5. Find a Writing Partner
This might not work for everyone, but writing with a partner was, and continues to be, one of the best ways to get me back on track. Having a partner allows me to step out of my own head, remove my insecurities, and make confident decisions in my storytelling. Being able to bounce ideas off of a partner and to confirm in real time what may or may not be a proper choice is honestly so liberating. Even with a writing partner, you can end up making poor choices in your screenplay, but the process is way more enjoyable and less stressful with a good writing partner.
6. Create a writing habit or routine
Write daily! And when I say that, I don’t expect you to ACTUALLY write daily, and you shouldn’t expect that from yourself either. What I mean by that is to create a plan to write every day, but not necessarily on your script, book, or whatever it is you’re aiming to write. I plan on diving into this topic in more detail in a future post, but this was a huge step for me.
This is also not something that you should dive right into. Remember, bullet point 1 is to STOP writing. This stage is for when you’ve returned to your love of writing and want to be doing more of it.
This is important because it incorporates some of the previous things listed above. Like writing only for you and changing media. For instance, I journal. These free-form diary-like entries are one way I stay in touch with my writing and myself. I also have a separate journal that I use daily for creative writing. I call it my “warm-up writing,” and I try to spend a minimum of 5 minutes each day writing inside it. But more on all of this later.
I hope this helps you as much as these things helped me get out of my funk and back to my love of writing. I’m no longer that naive writer with big dreams and even bigger story ideas. Now, with age, practice, and a dash of skepticism, I find that writing isn’t the constant flush of creativity I thought it was when I was younger. It takes work, and it’s extremely challenging. But I want you to know no matter how long you step away or how many times you’ve quit; you’re still a writer. Published works, purchased scripts, festivals entered, none of that makes you a writer. What makes you a writer is the writing. As long as you keep returning to your keyboard, journal, pen, pencil, typewriter, or whatever you capture your words with, you are a writer. Which is a beautiful thing.
Happy writing.